Jun 17, 2007, Sunday, June 17, 2007
Obession.
hatred is now fully booked in my heart and mind,
ii hate u always lying to me
ii hate u keep on bombming me
ii hate u to give me abit of hope and last minute disappoint me
ii hate u not to tell me the truth before hand !!!
ii hate everyone !!!
is a terrible day for me today..
afternoon ii went to lot1 with my mom and velyn and my mum and velyn went to the sam's machine to pay some bills while ii go to the basement to print photos for ah gong as he said he wants and today's the best day to give him as it is father's day..
so ii chose the best pictures of me, kelly and velyn to go kodak shop to print it out..
and ii have to wait 20mins for those photo.. zzz sianx.. waiting there nth 2 do..
haix.. aft tat long long 20 mins ii went to the bus stop to meet dem and take 190 to far east there and change 124 to the dover park hospice where my ah gong is.. anyway.. dis has nth 2 do my hatred.. !
at 6 plus me, my mom, velyn, kelly, her mom and ahyi and ahma going home lerhs..
dhen actually my mom and velyn were gonna take bus to bpp derhs.. but dhen ii was the odd wan out.. taxi cannot take 5 people mahs..
dhen ii suggested ii take the cab alone.. and my mom don let..
WHY AM II ALWAYS THE ODD WAN OUT ??
AM II BORN WITH THIS KIND OF LUCK ??
IF II REALLY DO II WISH TAT II CAN BE OUT OF DIS WORLD..
BE RECARINATED TO BE ANOTHER PERSON .. !!!
ii hate tis kind of life !!!
and tat time ii was really really really angry.. ii walked away angrily.. without looking back at them.. ii was really mad at them.. ii tot between family members there is ALL FOR ONE , ONE FOR ALL kind of phrase there.. but ii was WRONG !! II TELL U WRONG !!! dis phrase doesn't exist in family members.. but dhen ii tried to relax .. cos ii hav other tings to take care of.. my camp list.. dhen when ii was in 700 kelly msg me and said " ah yi say u better go home don come my house liao, cos too troublesome liao.. and ii reply back "is easier for me la ". and she replied me "lame la, is not easy for u lor, and u come also go home with ur mom and my daddy is wit us nw, aiyi is totally agree with me". ii was really sad and confuse liao le.. dunno wat ii can do.. at first give me hope tat ii can complete my task fast.. in the end disappoint me !! a simmer of hope being broken by U PEOPLE !!
dis is call HELPING ME ?? NO.. IS NOT .. IS CALL BOMBMER, PROMISE BREAKER !!!
let me go awhile jus to do my thing and ii just leave.. WOULD II BOTHER THEM !! or they don wan me there at all ??
say it out la.. why so ham.. ??
ii was so worried and sad till in 700 bus ii cried out.. ii tried to tolerate till ii alight.. but ii just cant.. tears keep coming out.. how ii wish ii could alight the bus tat time.. dhen when ii finally reach bpp ii told my mom ii go home first to save time and she let me.. and when ii was on the way home.. ii was sobbing away.. crying lik hell .. now kinship don mean anyting to me.. dey don mean anything to me.. tis is not the first time alr.. ii had enough of everyting..
ii hav no hope in them
ii hav no trust in them
and they hav no control of me..
ALL WORDS FROM THEM TO ME NOW IS CALLED BULLSHIT !!!
never will heal a word from them.. !!!
HOPE IS FOREVER LOST FROM ME TO THEM !!
ii hate u always lying to me
ii hate u keep on bombming me
ii hate u to give me abit of hope and last minute disappoint me
ii hate u not to tell me the truth before hand !!!
ii hate everyone !!!
is a terrible day for me today..
afternoon ii went to lot1 with my mom and velyn and my mum and velyn went to the sam's machine to pay some bills while ii go to the basement to print photos for ah gong as he said he wants and today's the best day to give him as it is father's day..
so ii chose the best pictures of me, kelly and velyn to go kodak shop to print it out..
and ii have to wait 20mins for those photo.. zzz sianx.. waiting there nth 2 do..
haix.. aft tat long long 20 mins ii went to the bus stop to meet dem and take 190 to far east there and change 124 to the dover park hospice where my ah gong is.. anyway.. dis has nth 2 do my hatred.. !
at 6 plus me, my mom, velyn, kelly, her mom and ahyi and ahma going home lerhs..
dhen actually my mom and velyn were gonna take bus to bpp derhs.. but dhen ii was the odd wan out.. taxi cannot take 5 people mahs..
dhen ii suggested ii take the cab alone.. and my mom don let..
WHY AM II ALWAYS THE ODD WAN OUT ??
AM II BORN WITH THIS KIND OF LUCK ??
IF II REALLY DO II WISH TAT II CAN BE OUT OF DIS WORLD..
BE RECARINATED TO BE ANOTHER PERSON .. !!!
ii hate tis kind of life !!!
and tat time ii was really really really angry.. ii walked away angrily.. without looking back at them.. ii was really mad at them.. ii tot between family members there is ALL FOR ONE , ONE FOR ALL kind of phrase there.. but ii was WRONG !! II TELL U WRONG !!! dis phrase doesn't exist in family members.. but dhen ii tried to relax .. cos ii hav other tings to take care of.. my camp list.. dhen when ii was in 700 kelly msg me and said " ah yi say u better go home don come my house liao, cos too troublesome liao.. and ii reply back "is easier for me la ". and she replied me "lame la, is not easy for u lor, and u come also go home with ur mom and my daddy is wit us nw, aiyi is totally agree with me". ii was really sad and confuse liao le.. dunno wat ii can do.. at first give me hope tat ii can complete my task fast.. in the end disappoint me !! a simmer of hope being broken by U PEOPLE !!
dis is call HELPING ME ?? NO.. IS NOT .. IS CALL BOMBMER, PROMISE BREAKER !!!
let me go awhile jus to do my thing and ii just leave.. WOULD II BOTHER THEM !! or they don wan me there at all ??
say it out la.. why so ham.. ??
ii was so worried and sad till in 700 bus ii cried out.. ii tried to tolerate till ii alight.. but ii just cant.. tears keep coming out.. how ii wish ii could alight the bus tat time.. dhen when ii finally reach bpp ii told my mom ii go home first to save time and she let me.. and when ii was on the way home.. ii was sobbing away.. crying lik hell .. now kinship don mean anyting to me.. dey don mean anything to me.. tis is not the first time alr.. ii had enough of everyting..
ii hav no hope in them
ii hav no trust in them
and they hav no control of me..
ALL WORDS FROM THEM TO ME NOW IS CALLED BULLSHIT !!!
never will heal a word from them.. !!!
HOPE IS FOREVER LOST FROM ME TO THEM !!
Obession.
